Tesla’s Newest Car Crashes Consumer Reports' Rating System

Tesla did it again. It made jaws drop. The automaker's newest sedan, the all-wheel-drive Tesla Model S P85D (numbers you’ll never remember), just broke the record for the best car ever, according to Consumer Reports. It scored 103 out of 100 possible points (how that can happen is beyond me). There’s no such thing as a perfect car, but compared to all the other cars on the road, this one is the sweetest ride of them all. Why?

It's fast! This Tesla vehicle can accelerate from zero to 60 miles per hour in 3.1 seconds on “insane” mode. If that’s not fast enough for you, you can buy the $10,000 ludicrous mode upgrade that shaves the zero-to-60 down to 2.8 seconds. It’s not the fastest car on the road, but the surge of speed is silent so watch out for squirrels -- they might not hear you coming. "The only other way that you can feel [the surge of silent speed], in a legal setting, is to basically jump out of an airplane," says Mark Rechtin, Consumer Reports’ editor. The car can also fly down the road at 155 mph. Let your dog stick its face out the window of this car, and it will love you forever.

Not only is it fast, but it’s also a fuel-efficient miracle: The new Model S achieves the equivalent of 87 miles per gallon and can run 250 miles before needing more electric juice. It also has enhanced handling and braking power. This unparalleled performance is stunning.

Although it scored a perfect 100, there are a few princess-and-the-pea type issues. The interior is not as luxurious as other high-end cars. The ride is firm and a little loud. Also, there are no reliability ratings, but the older Model S achieved average reliability.

The biggest downside is its price tag of $127,820 which means your significant other probably won’t be gifting you one for Christmas. However, Tesla announced earlier this year that it will produce a more affordable car, the Model 3, for $35,000 in 2018.

According to NPR: “The glowing review generated intense interest in the car Thursday (as of this writing, the Consumer Reports website has crashed); it also propelled Tesla's stock to an 8 percent gain, to a close of $242.99 on the Nasdaq market. That's quite a bounce for a stock that, at the opening of Monday's trading session, could be had (briefly) for $202.”

If you are lucky enough to buy this car, do a little dance … hop in the car, floor the gas, then hit the brakes hard and do the electric slide.

Image credit: TeslaMotors